Toilet paper wars

So at work the toilet paper is NEVER on the dispenser, but always precariously perched on top of it. Many a time have I walked in to the restroom and found the toilet paper on the floor. At first this did not bother me, as I would pick it up, roll it out a bit and felt like I was good to go. Until the other day. I walked into the restroom to find the toliet paper on the floor in a VERY suspicious puddle (the men poach our restroom if theirs is full, which I can't say anything about because I do the same thing...althought they are complete pigs). This was very disturbing to me, so I got some paper towels and picked it up and threw it in the trash can. It was an almost full roll. I got another roll from the stash on top of the cabinet and went about my business. A very short time later I passed the custodian on my way back to the restroom. It was obvious she had been there, as a few things had been tidied and the floor had been mopped (if you can call it that...shove mop in water....slosh all sorts of water on the floor and swish it around and leave large puddles behind). The garbage, however, had not been emptied....except the toilet paper roll that I had thrown away was not longer in the can. I looked around and sure enough, there was the roll I had opened plus the roll I had tossed. It had that wet and then dried look that toliet paper gets after getting wet. I was absolutely appalled. I again took the roll and threw it away. I was suspicious of the other roll now too, so I rolled out a bunch of paper and threw it away and then went about my business. Well hell fire if i did not drop that stupid roll on the floor and there it goes rolling away through the puddles of mop water. I retrieved it with paper towels and threw that one away too and then proceeded to get out another roll. I think I would have just forgotten all about it except another short time later (remember that I am pregnant) I went back to the bathroom to find that BOTH rolls had been taken out of the trash and set on the bar next to the toilet, plus th new one that I had opened. Again, appalled. I now felt like every unopened roll of toilet paper in the building was contaminated. I opened a new roll and did my thing. Later I went in again and mind you there were now 4 rolls of toilet paper and the bar next to the toilet and it was a little hard to discern which was which, so I opened a new roll. I did this once or twice more on that day, so by the end of the day there wer like six rolls opened. I also did it at least once the next day before the custodian went back in. So there must have been at least 7 rolls opened. Well, this brought out the wrath of the custodian, who at that point took all of the opened rolls but one and ALL of the unopened rolls and absconded with them. When I next went to the restroom I did not know what to do, so I walked all the way to the other end of the building (quite a long way) to another restroom that had unopened rolls. I felt safe then, but I couldn't walk down that long hallway every time I had to go. So I grabbed a few rolls and snuck them down the hall and hid them in the filing cabinet that stands just inside the bathroom. Nobody ever uses it so I gelt pretty safe. So now the custodian does not leave extra rolls out, but I have my secret stash that I know will remain un-contaminated. So why do I feel like I have won the battle but not the war????

One thing that made my day and another thing that ruined it

So I started teaching at my current school in 2004. One of the first things I noticed on my hallway was that there was an incredibly huge booger stuck on the wall. Certainly gross, but oddly riveting. So I thought I would gauge the observation skills of other teachers in the building and would periodically ask out of the blue if anyone else had this this massive booger. Most times no, so I would of course show it off and tell the story of discovering it. I would also sometimes check just to make sure it was there. This lasted throughout the 2004-2005 school year and into 05-06. When this school year I checked to make sure it was still there and sure enough big large booger on wall in hallway. Mysteriously, the other day it dissappeared. It made me kinda sad in a way.

What ruined the day is that I was the first one to walk into the workroom this morning and what did I find. A poor little mouse trapped on a glue trap struggling to free itself and gasping for breath. I am not particularily a girly girl, but by God I screamed bloody murder and began to cry uncontrollably. Let me tell you, these men that I work with are great. You've never seen men move so fast as when a pregnant woman screams. Fortunately, they took it outside to the dumpster. Not long after I stopped crying, I realized that they had not killed it, only put it in the dumpster and it was out there in the cold dying a slow death. Then I thought, well there is plenty of food in there, he may last awhile. Completely ruined my day.

Yet another trip to the doctor

So yet another trip. This time to the gastroenterologist. The obstetric specialist that I go to because I am so old was worried because I am still throwing up....so off I went. I have a great chat with the doctor telling her all about my gallbladder thing and how afterward I had to take two medications to ward off the effects of no gallbladder which I went off of when I got pregnant and that I have had bad heartburn my entire life blah blah blah. I tell her about the throwing up of odd things, about the acid reflux coming out of my nose in the middle of the night, etc etc..... She says to me, "You're pregnant." No shit. So she tells me to eat tiny meals 6 times a day because the baby has taken up all the room my stomach used to occupy, puts me on an awful diet (just for a week or two) where I can eat practically nothing but white bread and white rice and puts me back on acid reflux medicine and a nausea/empty my stomach quicker medicine. All this for the specialist co-pay of 25$ and whatever the drugs wind up costing. Yeah.....Im' pregnant.

American Idol

We finally broke under pressure last season and began to watch American Idol. We watched it all the way through and for the most part enjoyed it. We like the auditions better than the later stages and this year we may watch just the auditions.

So I must share from last night's tryouts with you.

Most of the people in Seattle absolutely SUCKED, but I must say there were many, many entertaining characters. I have to wonder if these people are just there to cash in on their 15 minutes, or if they seriously think they can sing. They also must have commissioned the short bus last night, as there were several people with at the very least had some sort of social disorder. Several of the boys would not look anyone in the eye (a very good sign that points towards mental deficiency...i.e. Aspbergers, Autism, and Social Affective Disorder), many others were seemingly misshapen in some manner or the other, and even others may have been ragers. Some seemed drunk and slurred speech very badly. There was one unfortunate girl (along with her mother who looked JUST like her) that was not wearing a bra. Now, let me tell you that is the first thing that comes off when I get home, but I am realistic enough (and have large enough breasts) to know that you just don't go out in public boobs akimbo. That girl was swinging and swaying to beat the band. I was mesmorized. She made a comment to the judges that she had brought her mother for suppost and all I could think of is that she should have worn a bra for support. Then there was the meercat guy. I swear to god he looked like a meercat. He also had a very strange voice that sounded a bit like I would imagine a meercat would sound like...high and squeaky and he sang just the same way. I laughed until I almost peed my pants. I did get sad a time or two, as the judges were somewhat relentless in their critcizism. Last season there was this little guy that tried out in Atlanta and he was obviously mentally challenged in some way or another. He sang and danced to some Michael Jackson song. Fortunately the judges recognized the obvious challenge and did not berate or belittle him, but last night they seemed to be crossing a line a time or two.

Needless to say I can't wait to see the next trainwreck.

Test results etc.

I had my 3 hour glucose tolerance test on Thursday which turned out just fine. I was pretty grouchy and hunger by the end, as I knew I would be, so I got some lunch and went home and did absolutely nothing but watch "Baby Story" all afternoon. I am going to have to stop watching that show by the way. Some of the stories really, really freak me out. Like the other day when the chick's water broke on the way to the hospital and she was within seconds of delivering in her car. She was screaming bloody murder. Yeesh. I much prefer "Taking baby home." Yes there is a lot of crying and diaper changing, but at least no one in is particular pain.

So yesterday I went to the obstetrical specialist and had another ultrasound. The baby is already approximately 3 pounds 12 ounces which is pretty big for 29 weeks. He is already head down, but not 'engaged' yet, although every time I sit down I feel his big head (just like Daddy!) squishing out over my thigh. *****sigh****** very uncomfortable. The doctor did not like it that I am still throwing up and thinks something else is going on so now I get to go to a gastric specialist. He suggested maybe gall bladder problems, but of course I no longer have a gall bladder. What I forgot to tell him at that point is that I was on medication for acid reflux before I got pregnant and had to go off of it. I think the acid reflux is just so bad that it makes food chunks come up too. I thought about not going, but since whatever it is may affect the baby, O'Tim said I should go. It would be good not to throw up any more.

So here are my doctor's appointments:

Thursday of this week

Monday and Tuesday in two weeks

Every two weeks for a month

then every week for a month.

I am tired of doctors.

This has happened before, but.......

this time it was worse. Caution potential gross out ahead.

I am still sick every once in a while. For example, this morning I threw up my orange juice. Makes sense, as I had eaten nothing else to that point.

But this evening I again felt sick.

Let me tell you what I ate today.

breakfast
Juice
toast
yogurt
banana

snack
apple

lunch
big salad with nuts and cranberries etc

dinner ( I wasn't so hungry)
two cupcakes
cheese toast


It is now almost 9:00pm. The last thing I ate was the cupcakes at about 6:30-7:00ish

I just threw up.

Guess what it was?

The salad from lunch...clearly distinguishable, with lettuce, nut and cranberry particles.

It is a mystery.

Ho hum...back to work

So work started back up on Wednesday and students came on Thursday. I have mostly good students, with 3 notable exceptions. Two are just kinda smart asses. For example, I asked a female student who she had her English class with last semester. Smart ass number one chimes up and says Mr. So and So. To which I responded with a smirky "I didn;t ask you, I asked so and so." I asked the girl the question again to which she responded Mr. So and So. Smart ass number one says, "I told you."
Smart ass number two spoke to another student who was passing by his desk at a time I had told them to be silent. I shushed him. He responded, "I am not talking." To which I said, "You just were." His response was, "I was talking a minute ago, but now I am not." I just had to say,"Talking a moment ago was merely annoying, but now you are just being a pain in my neck. No more!"

Okay so smart ass number three chimes in at this time with,"What is your problem?" By this time I was SO VERY ANGRY ( normally I am very slow to anger, but with hormones raging.....) that I could not see straight. In my calmest, most authoritative voice I said, "I have many problems and at the present time you are at the top of the list.....GET OUT!"

So these guys are all in the same class. My prediction is that they will be spending quite a bit of time in somebody's office.

I do wonder sometimes why I chose this profession.

Completely unrelated note: I have a fasting glucose tolerance test on Monday morning. I cannot eat or drink (only very small amout of water) past midnight and my test is not until 8:45. I have to drink this nasty lemon lime stuff and then an hour later they check my blood. Have I mentioned that I routinely have to get up in the middle of the night to eat something? I so think that I will be miserably sick. I really hope not. If the first blood (hee hee) comes back at a certain level, they continue the test for another hour...with me still not eating anything. So potentially Monday I may go as long as 12 hours without food or drink (except the nasty lemon lime crap).

I swear I do not understand how people have more than one child. I really do not want to go throught all this again.

Cravings????

So far I have had virtually no cravings. The only thing that comes close is orange juice, and maybe ice cream, but I just want them every once in a while so I don't think they really count. Today I might have had my first real craving.

CUPCAKE!!!!

Must have CUPCAKE !!!!! now.

Not cake.

CUPCAKE!!!! With SPRINKLES!!!!

Can't stop thinking about CUPCAKES!!!

Paula, I am sure you are proud.

Happy New Year

Well, we hibernated last night. We could have gone to the cabin with E&D, R&M, but not only was money an issue, but was sleeping. I don't sleep well anymore. I wake up about every 1 1/2 hours having to pee, or with bad heartbrurn, or just uncomfortable and it takes me awhile to get back to sleep. I am sure it is just practice, but somehow I think it will be different when it is the baby's needs to which I will have to attend.

I made it until past midnight and was asleep by 12:30, but then awake again at 1:45, 3:00, 4:30, and 6:00. I gave up at 6 and went to watch the news. Fortunately it was boring and I fell back asleep on the couch for a while.

The neighbors both seemed to be away last night which was a really good thing. They don't help the sleeping problem and have a penchant for fireworks.

Today I wanted to get a few things done, like take down the Christmas tree. O'Tim was reticent and I finally found out the real reason why. It is a holiday for him. He does not get too many holidays, so he does not want to spend it doing chores. I understand. I have had two weeks of holiday, so it does not bother me to spend a bit of time working. So anyway , I will take the ornaments off the tree, and pack up everything else, and leave the tree and the lights to him to do during the week or maybe Saturday. Babies to not take holidays, so I figure let him have his fun now.

Merry Christmas

To all for whom it applies: Merry Christmas.

To all for whom it does not apply: Enjoy your day off!

What have I done?

Stolen from PJ who stole it from Paula (yeah, I know I should link it, but I don't remember how).

In bold if I've done it.
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
o2. Swum with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Ridden in a Ferrari
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris (twice)
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and seen the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to an Olympics game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa (I have been to the tower, but it costs like 20 euro to climb the stairs).
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on Dom Perignon
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe ( was in Europe and had a backpack. Does that count?)
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone snorkeling in the Caribbean
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo (three actually)
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Appeared on television as a featured guest
83. Received flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark (blech!)
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children (getting close though)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sung loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Published one or more books
106. Lost 100 pounds (not at one time)
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours (when I had mono)
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach (not on purpose!)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions ( I went to my 5 year...yes 5 year...but have not been to another one)
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

Christmas Stress

Who has more stress at Christmas time than Santa?

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows where. More stress for poor old Santa.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the big toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustrated state, he accidentally dropped the cider jug and it broke into hundreds of little pieces that wound up all over the floor. He went to get the broom and found that the mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Didn't go where you thought it would did it? I wish I could take credit for this, but someone anonymously put it in my mailbox at work.

Freak me out

This story absolutely freaked me out. Surely there is more to the story that they are not telling us. If someone put me in a sox I really think I would freak out.

From a Florida local station
Wednesday 13 December 2006 - 04:26:30
Controversial therapy
Wednesday, December 13, 2006 7:24

Body sox are meant as calming devices for disciplining kids.A therapy okayed by the Pinellas County School District to calm kids is being questioned by parents.It's called a Body Sock, but some parents call it a restraining device.The district said body sox are good teaching tools. The family said it's a restraining device used to discipline their son.B ody Sox are designed to help kids explore their three-dimensional space, according to web sites about the device."I don't like it at all," said Patrick Holt, the boy's father. "I don't think it should be used on anybody."Holt felt that way after learning a Pre-k teacher at Pinellas Central Elementary put his 4-year-old son in a body sock Friday."My wife saw my son try to open up the body sock and the teacher's aide went ahead and had him put it back up," Holt said.The Holts wondered what was going on, especially since they said their son was the only student in a body sock. Bay News 9was shown their son's journal, which the teacher records daily.
Patrick Holt said his 4-year-old son was crying when put in the device. She wrote he was having a good day. But after the parents complained she wrote, "In reference to the body sock; it was not used for disciplinary reasons. It is used as a tool for calming children down."But then she added, "Use the one without the boy's name in it. The verbal warnings given to [THE BOY] prior to its use were not working. If I wanted to 'discipline' him he would've been in time-out .""You were giving verbal warnings because you were doing something prior to its use of putting [his son] in it," Holt said. "So, it was kind of, it seems like the body sock is used for disciplinary reasons."The school board won't discuss the incident because there's an open investigation. But it did confirm body sox are approved for use and aren't considered restraining devices."It has been used in some of our exceptional student educational classrooms as a very calming therapeutic and well received type of strategy to calm students down," school board Director of Communications Andrea Zahn said.But the Holts said it was anything but calming for their son."He was crying very, very hard," Holt said. "Which also causes his asthma to kick in and sometimes he gets sick and everything like that."The family said the principal admitted the therapy did not work.
School board spokesperson Andrea Zahn said body sox have been used as an effective calming device for children."They did apologize, said it was wrong," Holt said. "The only thing that we wanted from them was to send a letter out to let them know what might be going on to their kids."Holt said the school was not willing to send that letter home. That's when he contacted Bay News 9.Holt also said he plans to send his son to another school.The Holts aren't alone in their criticism of how the body sock was used. According to our Health Team 9 psychologist, Dr. Steve O'Brien, the body sock should not be used to calm unruly children."It's probably a questionable practice to use something like the body sock that is basically designed for creativity and for visual spacial awareness, to use it in a way to try and calm children down," O'Brien said.But the Executive Director of the Teachers Association, Jade Moore, who's in charge of looking out for teachers, said they should be careful when using body sox in the classroom until the school board develops better techniques and restrictions.

Names

So O'Tim and I are trying to find names for the baby. We have a very short list, but are struggling to find more options. Here is your chance to weigh in. What do you think? We want something uncommon but not esoteric so don't bother with William or Jacob or Daniel or any of those names. Our last name starts with a 'c' so we don't want c or s names. Our last name is also long so go for one or two syllables please.

Getting to know you

I know, I know....but I am really bored right now.

Look at the questions first and then scroll down for my answers.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
2. Does Santa wrap the presents or just set them under the tree?
3.Colored or white lights on the tree/house?
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
5. When do you put up your decorations?
6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
9. Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve?
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? silver
11. . Snow! Love or Dread it?
12. Can you ice skate?
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
14. What is the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
15. Favorite holiday dessert?
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
17. What tops your tree?
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
20. Candy Canes!
21. What is your favorite Christmas movie?
22. Do you hang a wreath?
23. Do you leave cookies out for Santa?
24. Bags or Packages?
25. Who will respond?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate
2. Does Santa wrap the presents or just set them under the tree? wraps
3.Colored or white lights on the tree/house? white
4. Do you hang mistletoe? No
5. When do you put up your decorations? very soon after Thanksgiving
6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Please, no food talk right now.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? getting a horse for Christmas and being surprised
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don’t remember, probably my brother told me.
9. Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve? no
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? silver glass ornaments, apples, lots of snowmen, various Santas, etc
11. Snow! Love or Dread it? Love snow days, hate making them up.
12. Can you ice skate? only tried it twice and as I remember I was not very good at it. It hurt my ankles.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? horse!
14. What is the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Not having to work.
15. Favorite holiday dessert? I still have a bit of morning sickness so it is really hard to think about food.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? watching A Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life.
17. What tops your tree? a snowman in the shape of a star
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Both!!
19. What is your favorite Christmas songs? uh....my favorite CD is Charlie Brown Christmas. It;s hard to pick a favorite from it.
20. Candy Canes! GOd! Again with the food!
21. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Its a Wonderful Life
22. Do you hang a wreath? Yes
23. Do you leave cookies out for Santa? Yes, and my husband eats them as soon as I go to bed, but leaves crumbs as evidence.
24. Bags or Packages? Both
25. Who will respond? ???????

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Ah....Christmas

I absolutely love Christmas, much to the chagrin of O'Tim. I love decorating the house and setting up the tree. Usually I love to make cookies and sugared pecans, although this year maybe I won't do that. I love Christmas carols. I have tons of Christmas CDs that I try to wait til after Thanksgiving to play, but usually I start sooner than that. I love to shop. I love to buy things for other people. We are cutting way back this year on our gift giving because of baby stuff, so if you don't get a present from us, know that we love you, but just can't afford it this year.

Tim not so much with the Christmas. He misses his family and snow, although he has been there the past two Christmases. He doesn't like to decorate (too much work), doesn't neccessarily like to give gifts, nor does he really like to receive gifts. (What do you want for Christmas O'Tim? Tell them to give me a gift certificate he says). He eats the cookies I make but bitches the entire time. He hates to shop. I am sure that he is glad we are cutting back this year. Little does he know that the 'extra' goes all to baby. O'Tim hates Christmas music, especially before Thanksgiving. His only exception is the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. We both highly recommend it.

I love laying on the floor watching the Christmas lights. Of course this year is a no because if I get down there, it is going to take a lot to get me back up. I love watching the dogs open presents. I love to watch everybody open presents. I love presents for me. I just love Christmas.

Next year O'Tim and I both may like it even better, or perhaps less????

Daddy wants a brand new........puppy?!?!?!?!

So O'Tim wants a puppy. This would be three dogs.

Brisbane was such a good puppy. He peed in the house once and I spanked him. He never did it again, but he also did not forgive me for that corporal punishment for several days. He never chewed that I remember. Ballou came to us at 6 months old, housetrained, but still chewing just the tiniest bit. She used to pick a shoe when we left the house and chew on it a bit until we got back. We got her to stop chewing pretty easily, but for a long time she would still get a shoe when we were gone and just kinda sit with it until we came home.

O'Tim is talking a brand new 6 week old puppy. One that chews a lot. One that pees and poos in the house a lot. One that does not know the rules of the house like the other two. One that has to be played with a lot. One that probably has to be watched in the yard when he/she goes out for a while because of fence issues. One that eats a different kind of dog food. One that will need vet care. One that will whine all night for several nights.

O'Tim would probably take care of the playing issue. He'd be good at that, but the rest of the issues would fall mainly upon me.

Have I mentioned that I am almost 7 months pregnant? Have I mentioned that it takes me a good minute or two to get up off the couch on my own? Have I mentioned that sleep is elusive these days as I am terribly uncomfortable and have to pee about every two hours? Have I mentioned that normally I am so tired that dinner is almost impossible? Have I mentioned that I am still throwing up some? Have I mentioned that we have not finished the nursery yet? Have I mentioned that we (I) am in the middle of a major purge in the house (trying to get rid of shit and organize)? Have I mentioned that I am having mood swings that almost make me physically violent at times and / or crying uncontrollably at others? Have I mentioned that the house is not baby proof yet, yet alone puppy proof? Have I mentioned that I am scared at the prospect of having to care for a newborn baby? Have I mentioned that O'Tim is considering a job change that would have him working even longer hours?

If you love me at all O'Tim please please please please do not bring home another dog.

Friends, if you care for me at all, please please please please tell O'Tim a new dog is a really bad idea.

Shat

Have you seen the advertisements for William Shatner's new game show? It's shat-tastic you know.

Does ABC not know what the word shat means or do they just not care? I understand that his name is Shatner and that it is probably a nickname of sorts, but if my last name were Fuckenzeiger could they advertise my new game show as 'fuck-tastic?' I am thinking no.

My guess is is that they don't think the majority of America will realize what that word means and nobody will complain. Evidently they think we are all stupid. I for one am offended that they think this. Are you with me or no?

Phone Call

I just got the strangest phone call. I answer the phone and a little kid yells, "I got student of the month." There was a pause and I heard a voice in the background, "For behavior and grades," and the little boy repeated, "For behavior and grades." He sounded to be about 6, so I thought for just a moment that it might be Tim's nephew from California, but quickly realized the voice was way too southern for that. I congratulated the little boy and told him how proud I was of him and was his mommy home? He said yes that she was proud too. I asked to speak to her and she said to him, "Who is it?" To which the little boy replied, "I don't know." The Mom got on the phone and I told her congratulations but I had no idea who she or her student of the month was. She said he was supposed to be calling his brother, but must have dialed the wrong number. I said, "Yup, congratulations again." To which she responded, "Sorry, thanks, bye."

Ready, set, SHOP

I was not going to go this year. It was O'Tim that got excited when he looked through the sale papers Thanksgiving afternoon. I heard him exclaim a few times, "Wow, that's a great deal!" as I lay on the couch recovering from dinner (I ate one tiny measley piece of turkey and a tiny bit of dressing, followed by a few bites of apple pie, which I managed to throw up a short time later, dammit). He periodically would disapear to the basement and then reappear exclaiming, "Man, I looked it up and that really is a great deal!" As the clock cruised on to midnight, I asked if we were going. "Oh, yeah!" was the enthusiastic reply. I being the veteran, told him to set the clock for about 4:15. When I finally realized that the alarm had gone off, I found him calmly eating breakfast and reading a magazine I tried not to explode. "If we are gonna do this, we gotta do it right. NO time for breakfast, let's go!" O'Tim looked startled, but poured his juice back in the container and got ready to walk out the door in record time. As we got into the car, three cars went by. "That's your competition boy! GO! GO!" I exclaimed.

Let me take a break here and tell you, I am not a competive person. Every once in a while I get excited about a game, but really don't care too much if I win or lose. Something about Black Friday changes that momentarily. I try hard not to concede to it, and I am certainly not pushy or rude, but dammit, someone else might get my stuff.


Each car that passed us made me yell "GO! GO!" even more fervently. I was secretly ashamed, but could not let it show lest O'Tim get nervous and cancel the whole outing. One poor sap was driving in the wrong direction. I snickered, "Where the hell does he think he is going?" Some cars were slowing and committing to Target. "Those bastards are just going to Target. Outta the way morons! Other lane O'Tim, Other lane! NO time! NO time!" O"Tim asked about turns and I directed him to the handy man store lot, which was about 3/4 full already and was actually the adjacent parking lot, the lot for our store already full. Then I saw the line. It did not look so bad until I walked over there and realized what I thought was the end of the line was only about the middle. I sent O'Tim on the mission to check out vouchers. Later (sorry O'Tim, but it is true), I realized I, the vetrean should have undertaken this chore, as O'Tim brought back sketchy information that lead us to believe there was no hope. We bailed and headed on with Plan B.

I directed O'Tim the super secret not crowed back way and we made it to destination B with little trouble. I again snickered as I watched the goofballs coming from the other way desperately search for parking. Ha! You gotta plan man! We got in line and got vouchers for our stuff then began to reformulate the Plan. We decided I would return to Plan A and see if we had left prematurely.

The line was considerably shorter, and after some pleasant conversation finally made it into the store. I must say they were particularily organized and asked at the door what I needed and sent me to the correct line where I waited patiently. Six more people, then me. Five more people then me. Oh! What did that store guy say? The camcorder I had come for had just sold out. I was crestfallen. I did not want to leave the line. Surely it was a mistake. I figdeted, licked my lips, looked around nervously, and tied my shoe (which is really far away right now and made me breath hard). What to do? Just then my partner called and I relayed the bad news. He had faired better and was checking out. "Come pick me up," he says to me. Again with the super secret back way, into the car and outta there.

A few blocks later he pulls out this list and comments, "There is another camcorder on sale over on Lee Highway." (Which is out of the main traffic.) So Plan C emerges. I am too disappointed to get out of the car, so O'Tim goes in without me. No line, no parking lot maylee, just people in then out. Huh. I take a short nap and moments later O'Tim emerges with package in hand. WOO WOO! You da man, O'Tim!

With deals in hand, and the sun not even up yet, we make our weary way home, tired, but contented with our morning. I am asleep on the couch just as The Today Show comes on. O'Tim fiddles with gadgets and then I think went back to sleep. He kisses me goodbye and I notice The Today Show is almost over. Late for work again, O'Tim? (In his defense he always stays late when he goes in late). But it was all worth it.

SIN

My brother and sister-in-law are pregnant again. She miscarried not too long after I found out I was pregnant. They got their first ultrasound today and the report is good. They saw everything that was supposed to be there at this point and there was a good strong heartbeat. I am relieved for them. They were so excited that they went out and bought baby stuff for me! Not that I am complaining mind you, but it cracks me up that they did not buy stuff for them yet. She is due July 2, which is about 3 months after me, so the cousins can grow up together. We also have been having fun talking about pregnancy stuff. :)

Dear NaNoWriMo

Please, can I have my husband back? I understand that you are supposed to be a good thing, but I haven't seen my husband in days. You see, I go to bed at a reasonable time and try to get out of bed at a reasonable time (although lately...not so much getting up). My husband does not adhere to the same principles. On a weekday , he often does not go to bed until 1 or 2 and on the weekend around 2 or 3. Well, imagine my surprise when I awoke this morning at 5 and he was still typing away. You see now, he will sleep away the day, while I long for his companionship. Can't you do anything about this? Our marriage may be at stake here, and I know you would not want to break up our happy home. Thanks

I'm a loser baby.....

paste this code::

Cake

I finally called the dr. today to get my test results. They were supposed to call me last week, but did not. I was just figuring no news is good news right? So earlier today in an attempt to ignore all of the paperwork on my desk I went ahead and called. I stayed on hold for a really long long time, then a very pleasant sounding girl answered and said "of course I can get those results for you." So after holding again (not so long this time) she came back and said "everything was normal".

So no worries. I am sure my artery is fine too.

The bebe goes through periods when he just kicks like crazy. Something (I can't remember what....which is normal right now) startled me really bad today and it made the baby kick HARD. It did not hurt, but it was the hardest kick so far. He went crazy the other day too, after I ate some cake. Bebe loves some cake, just like his momma. One time I went to the MLK day celebration in Chattanooga, just because I knew there would be cake there. It was well worth it too.

No results yet

Well, I took my pee in my huge orange jug to the doctor. Fortunately, they did not make me wait in the waiting room with it. I went right back and they weighed me (lost 6 pounds from Thursday to Monday????), took blood and sent me on my way. I spent a wonderful morning shopping for baby stuff and then went home for a mid-day nap. So to pay for the nap I had to go grocery shopping. I spent a ton of money on stuff I wont cook I am sure. You see, I HATE to cook. Not only do I hate it, but I am not very good at it either. I would just as soon eat a bowl of cereal for dinner as to have to cook. Of course, being pregnant and all, this is not a good idea...so I have only done it twice this week. To make up for it, last night I had a wonderfully tasty and huge salad. Yummy.

So...all this to say, I have not gotten my test results back yet.

Problems

My blood pressure was pretty high (although a lot of times it is high when I first get to the doctor and when they check it at the end of the exam it is fine) both times they took it and one of the two uterine arteries is a little bit small. This could be because I am only 18 weeks or it could be a sign of preeclamspia (which is not good). I have to do a 24 hour urine collection (yuck!!! I have to keep it in a big orange jug which they suggested I could keep in a cooler or in the fridge) and have blood work on Monday. I get another ultrasound at 22 weeks. Think good thoughts!!!

And the winner is.....

Congratulations to you Southernwoman....you win.....

IT"S A BOY!!!! He is a fiesty little bugger and squirmed around like crazy while they were doing the ultrasound. Just when they were looking for the gender, he stopped moving and kept his legs together. The woman had to poke me in the stomach to get him to move and at first he wouldn't. She decided he is stubbord. Great.

Tim and I could not be happier.


They did find some potential problems with me that they want to watch, but everything should be just fine.

The big day

So today we (hopefully, if the little bugger cooperates) find out if the baby is a girl or boy. They are also checking for all sorts of congenital problems such as Spina Bifida, Down Syndrome, etc, etc, but I am not focusing on that. I am hoping that Tim will meet me on time. I really don't think he understands how stressed out I get when I am late for something (sorry Honey, but it's true!). I am also hoping that we do not have to wait a long time in the waiting room. One more hope is that the ultrasound will not take too long. You have to have a full bladder (I mean PAINFULLY full!!!!) to have the ultrasound and I hate having to go to the bathroom. So let me know your latest guesses and I'll let everyone know tomorrow.

Time to go on the record

Here is your chance at infamy:

Boy or girl?

We find out next Thursday. You don't win anything but bragging rights. Here is some information on wive's tales to help you make your decision.

I concieved in July and was 37 at the time, so it is a boy.

I am carrying low (but I still have a long way to go) so it is a boy.

My pee is bright yellow so it is a boy.

I look and feel like shit so it is a girl.

I crave fruit so it is a girl.

One of my friends at work had a premonition that it is a boy.

My belly looks like a watermelon so it is a girl.

The average heartbeat is above 140 so it is a girl.

Tim is probably gaining weight (sorry honey, but I think you might be!) so it is a girl.

My right breast is larger than my left so it is a boy.

My feet are not cold so it is a girl.

My areolas are very dark so it is a boy.

The number of the month of conception plus my age equals an even number so it is a boy.

I can't eat the heel of the bread so it is a girl.

So that makes it 50/50.

I think it is a boy.

So does Tim.

Whadda ya say?

Songs that you cant stop singing (and may or may not be annoying)

This song is playing over and over in my head today.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows, And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told, and some choose to believe it;
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection;
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered,
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it;
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing,
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection;
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
All of us under its spell;
We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it,
It's something that I'm s'posed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection;
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
That's part of what rainbows do.
Rainbows are memories, sweet dreams reminders.
All of us watching and wishing we'd find it.
I've noticed you're watching too.

Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and you.
Life's like a movie, write your own ending,
Keep believing, keep pretending We've done just what we set out to do.
Thanks to the lovers, the dreamers and you.


A little melancholy.

That is how I feel today. It's not a bad feeling really.

I know I know....

It has been forever since I blogged. I have been keeping up with everyone else's blog, so don't think you've gotten rid of me.

The reason that I have not blogged is that I still feel like crap. I am still throwing up regularily, but the good news is is that I only feel like throwing up about half the day instead of the entire day. I am in my second trimester and this is the time that I am supposed to "glow" and enjoy my pregnancy. Well I am here to tell you that I AM NOT HAVING SO MUCH FUN.

Okay, so now I have to say something good. My wonderful husband refused to let me just lie around this weekend. We went out to dinner and to an open mike night on Saturday. It was quite the lovely little date. On Sunday we went to the local market. If you live in the area or ever visit, make sure to visit Chattanooga Market. It is a wonderful market with vegetables, artsy stuff, good food, and good musc. It is Sunday only noon until ??? from March to December. After eating at the market we went down to the Riverwalk. They have done amazing things in Chattanooga. I grew up here and remember what it was like years ago...dirty, smelly, and not so much to do. Now we have the beautiful waterfront and lots and lots of fun stuff to do downtown. The Nina (replica) is docked in Chattanooga until the end of the month. Only 5 dollars to tour it. The line was too long, so we passed, but I was very interested to see how very small the ship is (it is to scale). I also read that Columbus logged over 25,000 miles on it. I would not want to ride on that thing across the lake. It was tiny tiny tiny. I wonder how many people were on it when he came to the 'New World'...maybe ten...that is all there is room for.
We also went to a screening of "Iraq for Sale." It was a very disturbing movie. I am not one to watch non-fiction movies, or horror movies, or sad movies for that matter (It makes Tim so mad). I go to the movies to escape the drudgery of real life. I want humor and love and happy endings dammit.

It was still fun to spend so much time with my husband. I only threw up once in the car...lovely.

Quick

Grits...yes or no?

Better

The morning sickness is definitely getting better. I still threw up a few minutes ago, but not much and I did not spend the whole day nauseous. That's the good news, and I really am thankful for that. The bad news is that I now am fighting allergy/sinus fun. Of course, I can't take the good medication, so I am trying several different lesser remedies. Actually, it is not that bad and I hope that after a weekend on the couch I will be okay to go to work Monday.

So Tim comes home shortly. I am so excited to see him. I miss him terribly, but of course he goes right back out tomorrow evening to cover some government retreat thing for work. He'll be back on Monday but not in time for my doctor's appointment. Boo hoo. At least I will get my car back. I have been driving the truck, and as each day passes it is harder and harder to get in and out of it. It also rattles terribly on the freeway, which has been driving me and my carpool crazy.

Off to watch Casablanca!!!

Foggy Days

Fall is starting to creep in. Last night it was in the 50's, although a temperature rebound is expected and it will hit 80 today and close to 90 this weekend. Summer in the south hangs on for a very long time. There will still be days in the upper 80's in October (normally, watch this year it will snow in October). I feel foggy. I don't know if it is the change of seasons or what. I guess it might be the pregnancy. I feel like I am moving and thinking in slow motion. I slog through the day at work (thank God we are reading a novel and I can let them read aloud, or silently for that matter) and then go home and get on the couch for a while. I can manage to do one or two things at home after a nap (not that I have, but I can)., little things like the dishes or cleaning off the kitchen table. Tim not being home might have something to do with it too. At times it is bothersome feeling this way, but for the most part I am okay with it. It almost feels like pre-hibernation or something.

Still

sick sick sick sick.......When will it end???????

A week later

So it has been a week and not nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. Of course, the house is a mess, but I have done the dishes and no dried vomit anywhere. I have not had time to be lonely as I get 3 or 4 phone calls a night from friends (thanks guys, just remember not after 9:00pm!). My sister-in-law also gave me a beautiful flower arrangement. I just love flowers and they definitely brighten my mood considerably.

So the morning sickness seems to be getting better. All the books say that at 11 weeks it will start to subside. Knock on wood. I did not throw up yesterday and so far so good today too. I ate a wonderful dinner at Moe's last night and there were no problems. I plan to eat out again this evening and might shoot for the moon with say Carrabba's or perhaps Shogun. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Don't tell Tim, but I am starting to eye baby stuff. While at Target last night the rattles and receiving blankets and onesies were calling out to me. My friend Teresa and I are going back today to look for invitations and I have a feeling that at least one little baby thing will make it back home. (I promise Tim I won't spend too much money...oh well yeah, we don't really have any money right now, but the baby, honey!!!)

He goes out of town

Tim took most of the day to pack, then we went to Walmart together for his food stuffs. We also got the oil changed at Walmart. Big mistake. We had to wait forever. The second big mistake of the evening was eating at Taco Bell. It went down well, but later as Tim was trying to leave I completely broke down and cried like I haven't cried in years which of course made me sick. I ALMOST made it to the bathroom. Tim cleaned it up swearing under his breath the whole time. It surprised me in a silly way. He is not so good when it comes to taking care of me when I am sick. Usually he leaves town. You think I am kidding, but I am not. I got the flu a couple of years ago, he went out of town. When I had my gallbladder removed, he went out of town. When I got my wisdom teeth pulled, he went out of town. I mean, he wouldn't really insist that I clean up my own vomit when I just am puking away in the toilet. It made me love him more, which made me cry harder, which made me throw up more. I cried for an hour and a half solid. (Had the crying jag hangover this morning). He left for New Mexico. Just as I stopped crying the phone rang. He was in South Pittsburg and had forgotten his sleeping bag and wanted to know if I could meet him halfway. I asked him just to come back home and spend the night with me and leave early in the morning. He did. I love him so much. Boy it is going to be tough without him.

A couple of long weeks....

...ahead of me and behind me. I have been really sick and tired lately. I normally throw up about 3 times a day now and go straight home from work and sleep for about 2 hours. I stay up until about 9 and drag myself back to bed. Then I get up and start it all again. It has made me so out of it that I rarely know what is going on around me. I have neglected everything in my life, friends, work, dogs, husband. I hate it but just can't make myself do anything about it. A woman at work says not to worry about it, that it will get better soon, and I know that surely it will, but can't seem to fogive myself for being human.

All of this on top of the fact that Tim is going out of town for two weeks. I will miss him so terribly. Plus I have depended on him so much lately to do laundry, cook, clean, etc. I don't know how I will manage. I imagine that when he returns there will be a pile of laundry, a sinkfull of dishes and dried vomit everywhere.

The Labor Day weekend pool bash starts tonight, but I doubt I will make it tonight. I hope to go tomorrow, but the way I am feeling I am afraid that I will just lay on the couch.

color me.......

Your Power Color Is Teal

At Your Highest: You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future. At Your Lowest: You feel in a slump and lack creativity. In Love: You tend to be many people's ideal partner. How You're Attractive: You make people feel confident and accepted. Your Eternal Question: "What Impression Am I Giving?"

What's Your Power Color?

Yuck

I feel yucky........yucky.......yucky. The dr. gave me phenegren, but I usually cannot keep it down long enough for it to work. I got an ultrasound Monday. The baby is measuring 9 weeks. I got to hear the heartbeat and I have the first pictures of our kid. It looks like an alien blob with little arms. I hope I feel better soon. It makes me not want to do anything.

Two weird things

have happened to me lately. Here goes:

1. The other morning my carpool bought me a biscuit for breakfast. I ate it, and later after getting to work, ate some yogurt (during a meeting). On my way back to my classroom after the meeting I started feeling sick, threw up a little in my mouth and ran for the bathroom. So I threw up some more and then looked in the toilet to see that I had thrown up the biscuit, but n0t the yogurt. No sign of yogurt anywhere, just biscuit. I must have a compartmentalized stomach or something. It is a mystery

2. Yesterday I felt like I had something stuck to my tongue. I brushed my teeth, but still felt that way. Still later I felt the same way, brushed again, but still something was there. So finally this morning I decided to do a detailed inspection of my tongue. It had this little ridge on the side. I pulled on it and the top layer of my whole tongue peeled off. It was like peeling a sunburn. Again, a mystery.

Vomitous

Twice today. I used to love the word vomitous (my friend Teresa and I made that up), but now, I don't like it so much.

Volleyball

There is a young second year math teacher/volleyball coach who is having a baby at about the same time as I am. I have been talking to him about it over the last week, asking questions such as "When is your wife due? How is she feeling? Is she sick? How far along is she?" The only answer I have gotten so far is a very noncommittal "I am not sure." I must say that Tim knows everything....when I am due, that yes I am sick, that I am six weeks pregnant, etc. So yesterday I ran into this teacher in the copy room. He was hovering over the copier and looked at me and exclaimed, "I have a 5'10'' junior transfer from Virginia who has been playing since she was 10." I was flabbergasted. I could not respond. Evidently this man cares more about his volleyball team than his baby.

uhhhhh...honey....

This is what I said to my husband two weeks ago after taking a home pregnancy test. I did not think I would be pregnant, but thought what the hell I have these tests. I was pretty schocked and Tim said he did not think they were reliable tests. So I had to take a test for 3 subsequent mornings. He said he still had his doubts. Men. Needless to say, yes I am pregnant 5 weeks and 4 days due April 3, 2007. Long, long time to go.

...and I'm freeeeeee......frrrreeeeeeeee.....

You had to be there. It was great to be comfortable enough around friends to have the discussions and activities of last night. Must do it again very soon. Props to Rachel for being the first and to everybody else for averting gazes when necessary. Love to all that were there and missed you to those who were not.

...ish...

When I was in Spain I learned the following (from a Spaniard). They go to work 9:00ish to 10:00ish. They visit with co-workers until 11:00ish. They go to lunch at 12:00ish until 2:00ish, return to work until 3:00ish, go home to siesta until 6:00ish, then back to work until 7:30ish. I asked her when they got work done. She said that work was just kind of 'ish' to them.

Trying not to nap again

Seems like just as good a reason as any.


One of the highlights of the trip.... The NAKED BIKE PARADE!!!

Yes, naked, yes parade. We had decided to take a double decker bus down to Green Park from Oxford Street (in London) and here they came! We were so stunned that it took a minute to realize that there were hundreds of naked people on bikes, so we missed our stop and started snapping pictures. Hence the picture from inside the bus.







Big Ben. I found out that Big Ben is the bell not the clock. Who knew? It was, after all, an educational trip.



I purposefully skipped the pictures from Paris. I hated it last year and I hated it this year, too. If you want to go to France, don't bother with Paris and go to the south of France to Nice or somewhere like that.

Spain was my favorite.
Every little town claims Don Quixote.



















More Alhambra. This is typical of the walkways. They were stunning, as was everything there.



















Stained glass from the the largest mosque west of Mecca, in Cordoba, Spain.
















It was a mosque first, then a temple, then a church, so it has architechture of all three inside. Unfortunately, we were not allowed to use flash, so not many of the pictures came out.



















This is the view from my hotel room in Costa Del Sol (which is the name of the beach, not the town). My roommate and I locked ourselves on the balcony one night. It was crazy trying to get someone's attention to let us back in.

I can't keep up with the days

So I think I am getting my days and nights mixed up. I nap regularily during the school year, but during the summer it gets a little out of hand sometimes. I had two naps yesterday ( I feel sorry for those of you who cannot nap...my sister-in-law can't nap...poor girl), then had great difficulty in sleeping. I did my regular routine of MASH until 12:30 or 1:00 and then just kinda laid there tossing and turning. Tim doesn't come to bed until 2:00 or 3:00 sometimes. Last night it was after 2:30 and shortly thereafter we started the 'turn over......shut up......good god....shut up...turn over' thing. We both snore. I finally gave up at 6:15, mainly because the dogs wanted to be fed, and went to the couch, turned on TV, watched morning show, checked e-mail, checked laundry status, had strawberries for breakfast, watched Today Show. I remember Tim getting up and all the bad morning news, but I don't remember him leaving. Woke up in a panic at 9:00 remembering that my friend Teresa is picking me up to go shopping soon. She shops, I navigate. So needless to say I am ready for a long nap. About 3/4 of the time I have absolutely no clue what day it is.

Fourth Fun

So yesterday was nice enough. I did not get out of my pajamas until about 8:30 last night. Yeah...judge all you want. You are just jealous. I have all summer to do the little projects that you have to do on holidays. Tim and went to get ice cream and see fireworks. Ice cream and fireworks...two of my favorite things. Add cake and...well cake, and I am good for days and days. So we went to our usual fireworks place(church parking lot down from Lake Winnie) and this year there was a whole big deal thing.

We parked in the God Bless America Parking. Cracked me up.












It had just rained and was really hazy, so the viewing was not so good, but a good time was had by all. I hate to think about this, but I have less than a month until I go back to work. Yeeesh.

Pimp the Pool

Went to Pimp the Pool yesterday at Beelers et al, Inc. I went early and caught Donna and Superman and some good rays. Tim says I look like the orange fake and bake girls, but at this juncture, I am 100% natural tan. I think he is just jealous that I have time to work on a tan. I do this mostly in the backyard communing with my dogs and at my mom's pool which is always empty. But I digress. More pimping. I beat Tim by at least a couple of hours, so I met the famous Irishman and got goosed on the ass for the first time in nearly 20 years. Quite frankly, I really enjoyed it.


The Irishman getting ready for round 2.










After baking in the sun, I grabbed a chair (avec socks) and took the plunge. The chair thing turned out to be a really good idea, and I must have sat for at least for an hour or so, trying lamely to play ball whilst not disrupting the delicate balance of the chair migrating to the deep end. There was much drinking and frolicking as more and more people showed up.
A surfing contest ensued as well as more drinking and frolicking.
















Then eating and more drinking, followed by more frolicking. The next contest involved several types of liquor, including but not limited to tequila and some 'irish p***y whiskey' (Bushmills). I had tried earlier and knew to steer clear, but it was certainly fun watching grown men trying to out drink an Irishman (subtle hint here...it cannot be done). We had to spend a bit of time walking it off for some people. There was puking and slurring and speaking in tongues. It was quite grand. Tim and I left by midnight, but it looked like several other people would be puking by night's end. Nothing like a good pool party. I look forward to the next opportunity.

Europe

Yes I am back. I had a great time. Better than last year. I spent more time in Spain and I think that had a lot to do with it. I had a nasty fall in the Underground in London on the escalator that made for some nasty looking legs and lots of blood and swelling. I created a photo log of my legs each day. This is several days after the fall. You can't really see the bloody stuff, but the swelling is really evident here. The sights got so overwhelming that I began to just take pictures of flowers and tiles.

This is in the gardens at Alhambra in Grenada, Spain. Beautiful, amazing gardens that have been there for hundreds and hundreds of years. Hard to believe.



The tile work everywhere in Spain was amazing. This is a wall somewhere in Spain. I have been back about a week but I still feel like I have jetlag. I think if I were working it would be different. I woke up the other morning at 4:00am and went to Walmart (I hate that place, but it is so cheap and we are so broke).
This is an outer wall of a building in Alhambra. The outside is square but the inside is round. It makes me almost motion sick to look at it. It seems a little off kilter, like I still feel from the jetlag.

All done but the wiping

My grandmother used to say that all the time. When I was younger I was very embarrassed by that saying. Now I find it not only appropriate, but funny. So school is all done but the wiping. Graduation was Saturday at 8:00pm (for God sake! why so late? Why not 2:00pm?) It was the same as it is every year except there was a really bad storm just about the time everyone was getting there. As I was walking in the back door, a stand-up cigarrette thing with sand and cigarrette butts blew over and all over me. I could not think about it until on the way home. It was really gross. Needless to say I took a really long shower when I got home. So we have 4 days of 'post-plan.' We don't need 4 days. We have 3 days of pre-plan. We need 5 days of pre-plan. Every year during post plan I am done on the first day. Pre-plan I usually have to come on Saturday and Sunday. And no, I can;t do pre-plan stuff during post-plan. It just does not work that way. So 11:00 on Tuesday and I am pretty much done. ********sigh**************

Hissssssssss

I have started hisssssssing when I disapprove of something. This is new and somewhat disturbing. O'Tim and I were watching Oprah's Legends Ball and talking about how over the top and pretentious it was and I started the hissssssssing. When did this happen? I'll give some examples. My carpool and I were talking about a friend of hers whose husband is cheating on her a mere 2 months into their marriage. I hissssss. She tells me that he has been having the affair since before they were married. I hissssss. She questions why he even got married to her. I hisssss. One of my students talks during a test. I hissssss. I see way too much of one of my student's boobs. I hissssss. What has happened to me and how can I stop this!!! Hisssssssss.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yesterday was my birthday! I am stretching it out into today, as my dad is having a get together for me. This will be the first time in 23 years that my dad has been around for my birthday. I am 37 so you do the math. Anyway...Tim took me out to dinner at Los Reyes where they made me wear a sombrero and shake the shaker thingies (can't think of the word for them) while they sang Happy Birthday to me. Then I got CAKE. Cake is one of my favorite things. I always ask for a strawberry cake for my birthday because strawberries are really good this time of year. It is my favorite. A close second is yellow cake, chocolate icing. Then Tim took me to see The Da Vinci Code. I read the book twice and the movie was very entertaining. Yes, I know it is a controversial movie, but I don't get into all of that. It was entertaining and thought provoking. That is as far as it goes for me. Today, Tim and I go shopping for my present. Yipppee!! Presents for me!

Lunch Update

I got an apology and a bag of chips.

If I am a bitch...it must be Wednesday

So I really hate Wednesdays. We have homeroom which is 30 minutes of wasted time (in my opinion). I have gone round and round with these kids all year and they drive me nuts. So today I was talking to a student and the girl in front of her turned to her and said "Isn't she such a bitch?" The other girl replied that I was indeed. I confronted her and she denied she said it and got really loud and belligerent. I just told them both to get out and go to the office. As they were leaving all I could think is "Girl, you haven't even seen the tip of bitch." It was a good day for my husband to get me flowers.

Wednesday Lunch

Here is another little teaching tidbit.

I walk into my classroom as the bell rings (we are required to stand in the halls during class change) and find a student standing at my desk with my lunch bag opened up and he is EATING MY LUNCH! He sees me and starts laughing. He actually thinks it is funny. Now, I am not a small girl, and by God don't get between me and my lunch! I sent him to the office, he was laughing all the way. I am soooooo mad right now.

Of Tuesday and Testing

A little more about teaching:

I have to say that I am a good teacher. I am not the best, nor the worst, but my student's test scores attest to the fact that I teach and they learn what they are suppose to. I do not have time to waste. I can't get everything done as it is and a BIG problem in any school is the amount of time students are pulled from their classes to attend to other matters. There are field trips, conferences, problems, counseling sessions, plays, assemblies, and the list goes on and on. Five out of five days of the school week I have at least 3 kids missing for some reason or another (this does not include just plain absences...don't even get me started on absences!) per day per class. The loss of instructional time is astounding. So much more is going on in a school than just teaching, not to say that all of it is bad or even unneccessary. It is just annoying. Take today. During my planning period I have to give yet another state mandated test. These kids have to miss their regular class to take the test. So if the students having to take this test are juniors, they have had to endure the following state mandated testing (thereby missing instructional time):
October- State Writing test
December- state mandated end of course testin
December- finals
March- State Writing test
April- state mandated graduation test
May- state mandated end of course testing
May- English proficiency testing
May- 2nd round of English proficiency testing
May- finals


This list does not include Special Ed testing, nor gifted testing, nor junior apptitude testing, nor senior college entry testing .

This is all time out of class. Time Not spent on the curriculum. It is a lot worse in middle school and the worst is in elementary school. It makes me crazy. They tell me to do my job. I have precious little time to do it in, and then my kids are pulled from class left and right, but I still could lose my job if they don't pass the state mandated tests. More on teachers losing their jobs to come soon.

Just a little more....

I forgot to include:
22. Registration.....with 1500 students it takes days and days and yes, the teachers must act as guidance counselors, because the real couselors can't get to 1500 students.
23. Student schedule handout (this is during the summer). Yet again with 1500 students this is a nightmare and yes teachers have to be there.
24. Remediation: We have remediation all year long (including summers). Not all teachers do this, but I do, mostly in the summer.
25. Summer Georgia High School Graduation Test retesting. I do this. It is mornings 8-12 for 4 days during the summer.

Volume II to follow soon, as well as a "Why I teach' segment.

Teacher teach me

I found that my husband, O'Tim had defended teachers on some blog (he did not mention whose blog it was, I can only assume for fear of 'trouble'). Let me tell you a little bit about teaching:

Yes we are under contract ( in the state of Georgia) for 190 days only. Let me tell you a little bit about the 180 days that students are present.

1. Open House (twice a year). This happens at night, long after the school day has ended.
2. Hall, cafeteria, parking lot, or gym duty. This is morning and afternoon, saying things like, "Where are you going? Do you have a pass? Please keep your hands to yourself. TOO LOUD! Please don't curse in the hallway. Please go to the office for dress code check (I, being a woman have not even seen my own boobs near as much as I see teen boobage at school). Why are you crying? Please put that in the garbage can instead of the floor. No kissing in the gym. Please slow down.
3. Prom. This ruins a perfeclty fine spring Saturday night. I could poke out an eyeball just thinking about prom duty. You have to keep an eye on the punchbowl, make sure no one is in the bathroom(yes, the bathroom!) getting pregnant, seperate students grinding on the dancefloor...you get the picture...all to blaringly loud bad music...
4. Academic reception. This also happens at night. This lasts hours and hours and involves endless clapping and ooohhhing and ahhhing of parents.
5. Graduation. Again at night. This is the most torturous of them all. Thousands and thousands of people who feel like it is okay to blow their air horn when their kid walks across the stage. *****sigh*******This lasts from about 6 to after midnight.
6. Have you ever been in a play? You know that feeling you get from being on stage? You have to be careful and diligent and 'on' every minute? You have to be that way the entire day as a teacher.
7. Has there been a time in your life when you REALLY REALLY had to go to the bathroom REALLY REALLY bad. That is a teacher's entire day. We cannot leave the classroom. We just have to wait until between classes or lunch.
8. Lunch. I have 25 minutes for lunch. Often times it is spent with a crying child, or a child that needs clarification on a particular lesson, or on the phone with a parent about some crisis or another that their child is enduring at my hand.
9. Parents...they are the worst thing about teaching. Their child can do no wrong and would certainly never lie, cheat, steal, talk back, not understand, or pull out their cell phone during class. In the 10 years I have been teaching, only once did a parent take my side over their child....once.
10. Not so bright kids ( I really want to say stupid). Imagine the least intelligent person you know....intellect wise, socially, and common sense wise. I have about 25 of those people every day that I must guide and cajole into some sort of productice citizen.
11. Character Education. I am supposed to teach students to share, love, care, have high self-steem, be a good citizen, and recycle. All day every day.
12. If I had two years to teach one class, I still could not get everything done that I am (by law) supposed to teach my students in 90 days.
13. On the average I work about 1 1/2 hours of overtime per day. This does not count the time put in at home which also averages about 1 1/2 hours per day.
14. I spend at least 3 to 4 hours most Sundays grading papers, writing lesson plans, and creating materials.
15. I go to endless meetings...day and night...
16. I don't only teach, but keep up with mounds and mounds and mounds of paperwork.
17. The air-conditioning and/or the heat shuts off every day at 3:30. ( I stay until around 5:00)
18. The air-conditioning and/or heat does not come on until 8:30 every day ( I get here at 7:00).
19. Education is filled with a lot of trends. Some are good educational practices and others are just ridiculous (a high school with no classroom walls???). Twice a year at least we implement some sort of new educational plan that requires teachers to rearrange the way everything is done. I mean everything: Classroom layout, lesson plans, teaching methods....
20. Every year teachers are required to complete equivalent of a college course ( three semester hours). We do not get paid for this, and we have to make an 'A' in the class and yes there is homework.
21. So I make $40,000 for 9 months of work and about 2500 hours on the job. So after the federal government takes their share, and the state government takes their share (it's not enough that I WORK for them?) I bring home about $30,000, which means that for all my effort I make $12 an hour.

Just an afterthought: If you know a teacher that does not need a two hour nap when they get home every day, they are not a good teacher.

hoot hoot

Yes, the hootenanny. What a great time. The only bummer was the rain. I don't camp in the rain. Once while backpacking Tim and I had quite a scare during a thunderstorm and almost got washed away in the river. I swore no more camping in the rain. To rectify the situation I left the campsite at about 1:00AM. I came back to pick Tim up in the morning to find him deserted by our group and a little hung over, but happy to be chatting with Smokey.

Synonym Poetry

My kids did synonym poetry today. Some of them are really great! Here are some examples:

Noisy
clamorous, vociferous, boisterous
especially bad when it is cloisterous.

Violent
strong, powerful, furious
that's why people call me Mr. Serious.

Fat
heavy, bad, stout, grease
some people call me obese.

A few More books

After some thought, I need to add a few:

6. A Walk in the Woods (Bill Bryson)
I love the woods and Bryson is just so damn funny

7. Jane Eyre
I am only slightly embarrassed to say I have read this book about 9 times.

8 Blue Highways (William Least Heat Moon)
This one appeals to my 'leave it all behind and discover America' side.

9. Anything written by Tim Cahill such as Road Fever, Jaguars Ripped My Flesh, A Wolverine is Easting my Leg
Classic travel stuff. Hilariously funny.

10. Anything by Jon Krakauer such as Into the Wild, Into Thin Air, Under the Banner of Heaven.
More travel stuff
11. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time (Mark Haddon)
About an autistic kid and trying to solve the murder of the neighbors dog. I like it because of the education ties, but really a good book.

Top 5 books

Okay...the much anticipated Top 5 books list:

1. The Education of Little Tree
I laughed, cried, and learned more about education from this book than 5 1/2 years of undergrad and 2 years of grad school.

2. The Te of Piglet
I learned how to 'be little' even though I could lose 50 pounds and still be big. Translation: nothing to do with losing weight, but lots to do with losing bagage.

3. The Tao of Pooh
Understanding how to let it roll off like water off a duck's back.

4. Linguistic Genocide
As an ESL teacher, a must, but surprisingly applicable to real life.

5. To Kill A Mockingbird
If you haven't read it, you wouldn't understand.

Writing test results

I have been sweating it out for weeks now. The results were not supposed to be back to the school until Tuesday, but I went to the central office today and they were there, so...... 3 of my kids failed, but they failed by 3 points only. It is a big improvement as the last time they took it they were off by like 20 or 30 points. I should be proud of those that passed and myself, but I just hate it for the three who did not pass. Two of them will now not graduate in May. I have to tell them on Monday.

POLLEN

Ah, spring in the south. It lasts from late February until Mid April or so and then it is summer, and the pollen lasts from early February until late October. I grew up in the south so it is not as bad for me as some, but even if you are not allergic, there is so much in the air that it clogs up the breathing tubes. The result is a head full of greenish yellow powder that mixes with the snot and looks nastier than usual coming out. I guess if I stayed inside more then it would not be as much as a problem, but I have been off this week and spent most of the daytime hours outside with my dogs sitting in the sun. Yes I know I know and my husband had to tell me to stay inside yesterday because I was freakishly tan for this time of year. I can breath better today, but no vitamin D!

Just some honesty

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at
heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a
conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General Gonzalez can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980's is irrelevant.

Republican dictionary

This is too good not to share!

Entries from the Republican-to-English Dictionary
In case you've been having trouble recently in deciphering speeches and news reports:
* alternative energy sources /n./ New locations to drill for gas and oil.
* bankruptcy /n./ A means of escaping debt available to corporations but not to poor people.
* "burning bush" /n./ A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States, when asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire about non-issues.
* Cheney, Dick /n./ The greater of two evils.
* class warfare /n./ Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.
* climate change /n./ Progress toward the blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.
* compassionate conservatism /n./ Poignant concern for the very wealthy.
* creation science /n./ Pseudo-science that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.
* DeLay, Tom /n./ Past tense of De Lie.
* extraordinary rendition /n./ Outsourcing torture.
* faith /n./ The belief that the Beatitudes (statements made by JC) include "Blessed are the rich" and "Blessed are the warmakers."
* free markets /n./ Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.
* girly-men /n./ Males who neglect opportunities to grope unwilling women.
* God /n./ Senior presidential adviser.
* growth /n./ 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when policy is made according to Definition 1.
* healthy forest /n./ No tree left behind.
* honesty /n./ Lies told in simple declarative sentences (e.g., "Freedom is on the march.").
* House of Representatives /n./ Exclusive club; entry fee: $1 million to $5 million (See: Senate).
* insanity /n./ See: staying the course.
* laziness /n./ When the poor are not working.
* leisure time /n./ When the wealthy are not working.
* liberal(s) /n./ Followers of the Antichrist.
* No Child Left Behind /riff./ 1. There are always jobs in the military. 2. The rapture.
* ownership society /n./ 1. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth. 2. A political system in which all power is in the hands of the owners.
* Patriot Act /n./ 1. Pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us.
* pro-life /adj./ Valuing human life up until birth.
* Senate /n./ Exclusive club; entry fee: $10 million to $30 million.
* simplify /v./ To cut the taxes of Republican donors.
* staying the course /interj./slang./ Continuing to perform the same actions and expecting different results (See: insanity).
* stuff happens /interj./slang./ I don't have to live in Baghdad.
* voter fraud /n./ A significant minority turnout.
* woman /n./ 1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child. 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.

Bluegrass Jamboree

Remeber the Bluegrass Club? Well, here is a great article telling who will be at our Bluegrass Jamboree. It is working into be a really good show! Contact Tom Brown.

Oh, boys

Check out my husband's recent rant of March 15, 2006 and the subsequent fallout. I have to say that I am definitely on his side, but would even go further by saying the following:

Weapons are tools of ill omen
wielded by the ignorant
if their use is unavoidable
the wise act with restraint.

The only purpose of a weapon is death. The wise go forth with weapons only as a last resort. The spiritual price of war is devastating to both sides. War is the sacrifice of your ideals at the expense of your soul. It is a lose-lose situation. Because our leaders are not wise, restraint has not been used.

Reality Shows

Yes, I love them. Not "The Bachelor" or "Beauty and the Geek" or those types, but good old "Survivor", "The Amazing Race", and "Cops" Unfotunately, I have fallen victim to the likes of "Super Nanny", "Wife Swap", and "The Real World." My near favorite is Family Plots" which I can't seem to find, and of course, the ever uplifting "Extreme Makeover-Home Edition." One that really bums me out, but I watch anyway is "Intervention" Man, talk about reality. It shows close to nitty-gritty drug addiction, alcoholism, OCD, etc, then holds an intervention for that person and sends them to rehab if they are agreeable. Talk about some pissed off people. Not only are they ambused on TV, but then they have to give up their addiction, too. They let them have one more hit or drink beofre they go (which I find a really bad idea), and then off they go. The relapse rate is really bad, but some do make it. I don't know why I enjoy a good reality show so much, except to possibly see that I do have a good life and that I am not a complete loon like many of those people out there. Oooo...that is sad.

Of testing and teenagers

So, the big test is long past and I survived. I am sure that I was more nervous than my kids. We do not get the results back until April, and another round of testing in between. The spring semester is just all state testing, federal testing, grade level testing, special ed testing, ESL testing, and pregnancy testing. Many, many girls are showing up pregnant. It amazes me that anyone ever gets pregnant at all and here are all these 15 and 16 girls (yes, yes, I know I was one too....ooo....clarify there, I never got pregnant) just as pregnant as they can be. I feel very little need to procreate. I enjoy sleeping and I hear that you do not get to do too much of that when you have a kid. When my students come to me with their problems it is a very good birth control method. I know that as terrible a teenager as I was, any kids I may have would be 100 times worse.

Test Day

So today is the big day. My kids are taking the writing test. I made the mistake of drinking a coke and two cups of coffee. I now am just about shaking from the caffeine. I have to stay cool for my students however. I know that I have done everything that I can to prepare them for this day. They are going to do well. I had a big breakfast for them and invited the administrators and teachers. Of course the kids were so nervous they did not eat much, but the teachers did. That is one thing about teaching, there is always food somewhere in this building. I have gained a considerable amount of weight since I started teaching. I can't even type. I have to go eat something.